Trust. If not not Trust, what is the alternative? Fear and doubt?
Notice the difference of feeling when trust is present and when it is missing. So called “trust” (lower case t), contingent on facts, is not Trust.
“Trustworthy” posits the idea that the observed person, place or thing has “earned” the privilege of being trusted –– that sufficient factual data has been presented to the observer to make a judgment in favor of the observed.
Trust is a state of being free from the perceptual distortion that leads to analysis, judgment and non-acceptance of what it.
Working backwards … accepting the is-ness of the present moment, free of judgment (which leads to obsessive attraction or rejection), heals the separation brought on by analysis of so-called “facts” (that appear to be real) arising from a misperception of reality.
Trust exists despite factual “evidence” to the contrary. Because Trust exists with no need for proof, Trust can be said to be more essential, more of a foundational reality than a state of acceptance contingent upon a demonstration of factual evidence –– “trustworthiness”.
To proceed in a state of Trust is to proceed in a state of grace, the hallmarks of which are peace of mind, tenderness to all and a bemused acceptance of the seemingly endless absurdity of the interplay of forms in this world.
Lack of Trust is to move through the world motivated by fear and all of its guises –– to experience the gut-wrenching insanity and anger that occurs when “what is”, is rejected and the mind flays about in judgmental anger.
Of course Trust is not of the egoic mind. Trust is a characteristic of our essential self –– consciousness.
The egoic mind only exists through form identification –– it needs forms (people, places, things or thoughts) to attached to in order to manifest and substantiate itself. Naturally the egoic mind seeks to have “proof” that the form it is identified with and attached to, is worthy of its believe in it –– that the form is “trustworthy”. But because of the evolving, shifting and impermanent nature of all forms, the egoic mind is continually presented with new facts that, soon or later, it finds to be unsatisfactory.
Let’s get concrete with a personal example.
Our product, a personal sound system called N.O.W. (designed to provide the benefits of meditation in just 3 minutes) is mainly sold online. This means we need a website with e-commerce capabilities.
N.O.W. is really more than a product. In use, N.O.W. is experienced more as a being that is interacted with by the listener. The experience of N.O.W. is one of healing the pain of apparent separation and a remembering of joyous Oneness.
We have seen time and time again that N.O.W., a “product” that came to my co-developer Alene Sibley and I as inspiration, and not as invention, is not circumscribed by the laws of the world it comes to heal.
N.O.W. has its own agenda, has its own power, repeatedly makes it own connections and finds ways to manifest those who need it, love it, use it and promote it. A Course in Miracles describes these apparitions as “witnesses”. The Roman Catholic term for the appearance of “go signs” like this is a “Signal Grace” –– a signpost that validates one’s progress so far and reaffirms the direction of travel, but is simultaneously experienced as a loving state of grace.
So N.O.W. has been taking care of itself quite well, thank you very much, in the 5 months it has been available as of this writing (sales in 14 countries, hundreds of people’s lives made better).
But N.O.W. does need our cooperation. We have had to build both our own website, www.nowbysolu.com and get N.O.W. listed on amazon.com. The former task, building and maintaining a website, is something that has profoundly challenged my Trust.
While I firmly believe and Trust in the power of N.O.W. to find its way into the world and eventually change millions of people’s lives for the better, my egoic mind is incapable of this Trust.
From the first day almost a year ago when the time came to find a web designer my egoic mind has been distrustful of the process and people associated with building out www.nowbysolu.com. To date, there has been a succession of very talented designers who have been interviewed, evaluated, judged, rejected and finally, begrudgingly tolerated. I think we’re now working with design firm number five and there are still “problems” with the site.
Each time a new “problem” rears its head –– most recently, a loss of Google Analytics data a result of a WordPress theme change, I initially react with frustration, anger, impatience and a generally uncharitable, dismissive and unloving response. My egoic mind does not see our web design firm as “trustworthy” because the perceived data demonstrates shortcomings in the designer’s oversight or execution. Somehow my designer has not protected me from the ravages of my own attachment to impermanent forms, my designer has not isolated me from the changeability of form, in this case, an unforeseen consequence of changing from one WordPress theme to another. LOL, that’s an impossible task to ask of a web designer –– to ask him to stop the inevitable evolution of form from occurring. Its like expecting a new love partner to save you, make it all better because they’re the “perfect match” –– don’t dare evolve.
All of this feels really bad to my egoic self.
On the other hand, if I step back from the form-details of website building and reconnect with what I know is the power of N.O.W. to find and make its way in the world … when I return to Trust in other words, I immediately feel better –– at peace, hopeful, bemused by the current challenges and willing to extend loving kindness to those around me who are providing the critical support needed to help extend N.O.W. into people’s lives via online commerce.
N.O.W. itself is a teacher of Trust. In another blog post I’ll talk about listening to N.O.W. to nurture our ability to Trust. For now, I’m going to rededicate myself to responding to all challenges, as they arise, with absolute Trust that the present turn of events is “as it is”, that it is exits for some as yet unknown reason –– perhaps only to teach us to Trust.
